New Show Monday

It's Friday! I am going to take it easy this weekend and enjoy not having to get up early on Sunday anymore. Starting Monday, Fred Faour and I will start our new show The Blitz which will air weekdays from 1-3 pm. This show has been off and on about 10 times since early this year so I'm cautiously optimistic that the plug won't get pulled at the last minute.

I used to watch 80 to 100 movies a year but ever since I got a job I can't do that anymore. Now it's a treat when I get to go see a movie. Here are my quick movie reviews for the month of August...

The Hammer - Taped this movie on my Tivo and I wasn't expecting much. Let me just say that I was blown away. Adam Corolla plays a loser carpenter who used to be a boxer. After getting fired from his job he decides to try to qualify for the Olympics. Surprisingly funny. A-

500 Days of Summer - Spoiler Alert: I'm a sucker for a good romantic comedy. Not a crappy romantic comedy like the next movie. Anyway, this movie tells the story of a dude's relationship with the love of his life over 500 days. It's an old concept but it's done with a fresh take. A+

The Ugly Truth - Wow. Not much to say about this piece of crap clunker. There were some funny moments but you know exactly how the movie is going to end from day 1. Katherine Heigl is hot though. C

Gran Torino - Clint Eastwood is a complete badass. In this movie he plays an old racist dude who is coping with the loss of his wife. He reluctantly begins a relationship with the Hmong family next door. Eastwood is great but I didn't know whether to laugh or cringe at the 1,000 racial epithets. Plus, the young boy next door was an awful actor. B

Bonus: It's not a movie but I read the book The Art of Learning the other night. It's written by Josh Waitzkin who was the inspiration for the movie Searching for Bobby Fischer. It's an incredible book - go grab it right now. A+

Football Thoughts...

* I love the idea of a punter trying to hit the Cowboys video board as many times as possible after today's strange do over/dead ball rule. I'm putting the over/under at 19 hits for the regular season. Weigh in with your guesses.

* I heard an announcer the other day call Matt Cassel a veteran. Really???!!! The biggest game this guy played in prior to 2008 was a Little League Game. Dude didn't start a game at QB in the last 7 years. I'm slightly reluctant to call him a veteran.

My Poker Trip

We're winding up our Vegas trip and I can't wait to get home. At the same time, I want to stay and gamble until I fall asleep at the tables. That's how you know it was a great trip.

My little brother Drew is headed to Nashville to help open up a Chuy's so my Dad hatched up a plan to head to Vegas. To be honest you don't ever need a reason to go to Vegas but it helps to have one.

The flight up was only 4 days ago but I remember almost nothing. 4 days ago feels like 1997 at this point. I only remember that my Dad and I couldn't find the rental car for 10 minutes and once we did we missed the turn to Caesar's Palace 4 times. We checked into the room and got a nice night of sleep for the first and only time of the trip.

BREAK (This is where it took me another 4 days to finish the blog)

I wrote a long post about what happened during the poker tournaments but it was a little long. Really all you need to know is that we all cashed. My brother got 2nd the first night, my dad finished 3rd the second night and had another cash at the Venetian the 3rd night, and I finished 7th the 3rd night for the smallest cash of the trip.

What's more interesting is who we met...let's just say there were a bunch of losers and a few nice guys. If I had a nickel for every bullshit poker story I heard and a dime for every lame-ass poker joke I'd have come home with an extra $15 in my pocket. Poker trips are great but in all honesty there is nothing better than playing online poker in your boxer shorts while eating a pizza pocket. I seriously considered throwing most everyone I met under the bus but I don't have that killer instinct. But I digress...



Anyway, here are some other random things from the trip...

* Sushi Roku was the nuts.

* We passed by the Peter Lik Gallery. Great name for a gallery. I wonder if anyone told him, "You can Peter Lik my balls, capi-tan."

* One of the rare cool poker players I met was the CEO of Who's Your Daddy energy drinks. His name is Dan Fleyshman and he was a pretty damn good poker player also.

* I came up with another great idea. How about a sports bar with over/under prices? For instance a burger costs $6.50 or $8:50. You have to spin the wheel to see how much your meal costs. Or maybe you just spin the wheel after your meal to see how much of a discount you get? You know this is a good idea.

* This week's version of Life's Great Unsolved Mysteries....my wife asked me the other day, "Why are CDs so hard to open while lightbulbs are so easy to open?"

Okay, hopefuly I'll get back to more regular blogging soon.

Complete Randomness

* I had to go to Kinko's today to use their scanner. I ended up sitting there for 15 minutes while Adobe Acrobat updated. Of course, I was only paying $.21 per minute but its the principle of the matter. Finally, I look up and the freaking update didn't work. I had to pay almost $3 and got nothing done. When I told the people at Kinko's they just looked at me with a blank stare and barely apologized. Punks. I should have just gone to PopCopy.

* My wife and I went to Lowe's today to get some nails and some other stuff. One thing we really needed was a welcome mat for our backdoor. I wanted a welcome mat that said "Sneak in the Back Door". That was quickly shot down. We ended up with the slightly less funny "Got Dirt?" mat.

* If you want a really bad synopsis of the first 3 Star Wars movies you have to check this out.

* Corey Hart isn't just an outfielder for the Brewers. He's also the singer of one of the sweetest 80's songs ever written. (not that Cory Heart - sicko) I estimate that I've heard the song "I Wear My Sunglasses at Night" at least 1,000 times in my life. It's a great line to use whenever you see a douchebag with his sunglasses on at the bar around midnight. Guaranteed to get a laugh. Or get your ass kicked.

What is even funnier than that you ask? How about the lyrics?! Corey Hart is definitely the winner of the "Best use of the word 'Masquerade' in a song Award". For the full effect please watch the video with the slightly incorrect lyrics in the background (best I could do).

Great Drinking Game...and more

I had to sit through a powerpoint presentation yesterday for the first time in a long time. I had literally just finished reading about the powerpoint drinking game and as a result I was in the corner of the room with my head down trying not to laugh. Sadly, this wasn't a laughing presentation. Also, since I didn't know there was going to be a powerpoint presentation I didn't have anything alcoholic to drink. That's why you should always have a secret cell phone flask at work.

More...

* I've heard of the tramp stamp but this is taking it to a different level

* I'll be watching every NY Giants game this season just hoping to catch a glimpse of David Carr wearing his handerpants. You just know he has a pair.

* The Rockets signed Chase Budinger to a multi-year deal yesterday. He will most likely fight for a roster spot with the Rockets but I'll go out on a limb and guess that he makes the team. He's very athletic (40-inch vertical), he's smooth, and he can shoot the basketball. Budinger led the Rockets in scoring during summer league play which is somewhat similar to being the world's tallest midget. Still, this in going to be a long season and I view Budinger as one of the few bright spots.

* I'm heading to Vegas in 2 days with my brother and pops to play some poker. I played a warm-up tournament today on FullTilt and finished 14th out of about 200 players. That's probably the first multi-table tournament I've cashed in since the beginning of the year. That shows how little I've played. Very sad.

I lost about 40% of my chips late in the tournament. I was in the BB with A6 offsuit when the button moved all in. I was getting 3 to 1 and the button was pretty desperate so I called. He had A4 and after a 977 flop it looked like we were heading for a chop. I got excited when the turn came 5 giving me 15 outs for the outright win. Of course, the river was a 4 and I came within an inch of breaking my monitor. Man I miss poker.

* BTW, Freddy and I are filling in for Dukes today from 3-5. Probably lots of Vick talk. Stream us here.

* I also miss the times when this blog used to get 50,000 page views a week. Now I'm lucky if I get 500 page views a week. But, I predict this blog will make a triumphant return! To do so please subscribe to the blog and click the links. Also, pass the blog along to friends.

Will Vick Fly Like An Eagle?

I predicted that the team that signed Michael Vick would come as a surprise but I have to admit that the Eagles caught me off-guard. I've never been the biggest Donavan McNabb fan but he's taken the Eagles to 5 NFC Championship games in 9 years! Vick is certainly not going to battle McNabb for playing time. What the hell is he doing in Philadelphia then?

Vick doesn't seem likely to see time at wide receiver or running back. With Kevin Curtis, Desean Jackson, and first round pick (#19 overall) Jeremy Maclin on the roster there won't be enough balls to go around at wideout. The Eagles also spend a high pick on running back LeSean McCoy (2nd Rd., #53 overall) who figures to back-up Brian Westbrook. What the hell is he doing in Philadelphia again?

The answer is boring. He's a back-up. A back-up quarterback. Vick may be used in the wildcat formation but at this point it appears that he's an expensive back-up. The Eagles are paying him $1.6 million in 2009 with a club option for $5.2 million in 2010. This tells me that not only is it HIGHLY unlikely that Vick remains an Eagle in 2010 but that Vick may not last all of 2009.

You see, none of that $1.6 million is guaranteed. With 16 games in the season Vick will make $100K a game. The team must be really concerned about Kevin Kolb's knee injury for this deal to have even happened. I wouldn't be shocked to see the Eagles release Vick during the season if he doesn't provide a spark out of the wildcat - assuming of course that Kevin Kolb returns healthy. While McNabb isn't a spring chicken at age 32, Vick isn't far behind at age 28. The average age of NFL quarterbacks from 1995 to 2005 is somewhere in the neighborhood of 29 years old. Kevin Kolb (age 24) has a strained MCL but is listed as day-to-day. He should return in plenty of time for the regular season opener.

Simply put, Michael Vick is a longshot to make an impact with the Eagles this year. The team has too much high-priced talent (McNabb $9.2M, Westbrook $4M) and too much young talent (McCoy, Jackson, Maclin) at the skill positions to find room for Vick. But, this isn't a completely useless opportunity. For one, injuries occur fairly often in the NFL - especially to the Eagles. More importantly, even if Vick doesn't make an impact with the Eagles, a good progress report could get him a starting shot sometime in 2010.

The Storm is Coming

Von Wafer signed a 2-year, $10 million contract with the Greek basketball team Olympikos yesterday. That contract is probably double the amount he was likely to receive from any NBA team. Besides the money, Wafer has plenty to be excited about. Olympikos' roster already includes former NBA players Josh Childress and Linas Kleiza.

Sure, a lineup of Wafer, Childress, and Kleiza would fail to scare even the Los Angeles Clippers. But, what if Kobe Bryant was added to the mix? He's previously expressed interest in testing the global market. Lebron James you ask? Yup, him too - in fact Olympikos has contacted him. As more and more American players consider heading overseas the NBA is slowly losing it's stranglehold on the world's best players.

Is it a longshot that an elite NBA player heads overseas? Absolutely. The NBA is easily the best and most recognizable league in the world. But, the league no longer has a monopoly on the game's best players. I could argue that 10 years ago the NBA had perhaps 95 percent of the best basketball players in the world. Now the league may not even have 95 percent of the top American players in the world.

There are two main reasons why players are considering fleeing the US. First, a lot of young talent can get paid early because, unlike the NBA, foreign leagues can offer contracts to 17-year old kids. Young players who don't want to attend college for a year can go overseas and start their career early.

Second, many foreign leagues and teams don't have a salary cap. Many teams in Europe can offer Von Wafer a $10 million contract while most NBA teams don't have that luxury because of the cap. (It's also been rumored that foreign teams/countries are offering up American players dual-citizenship.)

This isn't an indictment on the NBA. The salary cap keeps the league competitive but perhaps it can be tweaked. David Stern has made it his mission to expand the game of basketball globally and he's accoplished his mission. Perhaps too well.

Maybe there is no reason for concern. Competition from overseas should make the NBA stronger in the long-run. But with young players such as Brandon Jennings and Jeremy Tyler heading overseas in droves and foreign teams offering huge contracts to mediocre NBA players it seems as if the NBA is staring right into the perfect storm.

The good news for the NBA is that Kobe Bryant and LeBron James will most likely sign an NBA contract. The elite players aren't heading overseas and the NBA is the still the most dominant basketball league in the world. As an NBA fan I hope it stays that way.

40-Love at First Sight

I've stooped to a new level. I never thought I'd use an online relationship site. I always thought those people were lonely desperate losers who were one step away from giving up on life. That may still be true but add me to the list of lonely desperate losers. Let me explain.

I moved to Houston a little over a year ago and I immediately knew something was missing. I had lived most of my life surrounded by friends and now I was in a big city all alone. Eventually I got tired of watching other people find their perfect partner while I sat at home alone. There were some potential companions at work but I knew better than to mix work and play. How was I going to meet somebody?

Last week I finally caved. I woke up one morning and just decided it was time. That's when I went to Craigslist.com and posted my plea:

I am looking for someone to play tennis perhaps 3-4 times a week in the mornings. I'm male/29 - used to be a decent enough player (5.0) and played in college at a DIII school but I tore my labrum maybe 2 years ago so I'm probably a crappy 4.5 or a very solid 4.0 now. I just moved to the Memorial area but wouldn't mind driving 10 minutes to play. I would need to hit before 10am.

I checked my e-mail every 10 minutes just waiting for my tennis soul-mate. Finally, I got the response I was looking for:

Hello, I am Kiran and moved to Houston a week ago. I am a 4.5 to 5 player and looking for some one who is really good. I also had a terrific USTA league season this year in NJ. If you are interested please get back to me ASAP.

Soon, I had my very first blind date. We were to meet at a local high school early one morning to play some tennis. As the big day approached I grew more nervous. On the eve of our rendezvous I bought brand new tennis balls and two huge bottles of water. I made sure to get plenty of sleep and set my alarm for early in the morning. I drove to the courts and I waited...and waited...and waited. Finally, I could wait no more, I was disappointed and hurt. I fired off an e-mail to Kiran on my Blackberry. Did he show up, see me, and then leave? I later heard from Kiran. He gave me some BS about how he was there and didn't see me. We haven't talked since.

I was about ready to give up on my search for an online relationship. But, sometimes you get surprised when you expect it the least. Another player e-mailed me last week and wants to play on Friday. I don't want to get hurt again but if at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Wish me luck.

Save it for the playoffs

Boise State did it right. A 50-yard hook and ladder to tie the game in regulation and then a statue of liberty 2-pt. conversion to win the game in overtime. I loved every minute of that game. I remember calling every one I knew late that night to talk about it. But, the best part about those trick plays is that they were used at such a big moment. The 2006 Boise State Broncos went undefeated and on January 1st, 2007 they won arguably the best college football game of all-time. With 2 trick plays.

If any NFL team should know about saving trick plays for the right time it would be the Tennessee Titans. Their Music City Miracle propelled them to the Super Bowl where they came a foot from taking out the mighty Rams.

Why then, did Tennessee pull out the coolest fake punt play in recent memory in a freaking pre-season game? Sunday night was the Hall of Fame Game between the Tennessee Titans and Buffalo Bills. It was the first preseason game of the NFL season - really it was a pre-pre-season game. Everyone was watching. Fans, players, and, of course, coaches. That play may well still work in the regular season or the playoffs but the element of surprise is now completely gone. As a Texans fan I guess that's a good thing. As a fan of seeing the improbable happen at the perfect time it's definitely a bad thing.

* I just got done checking out about 50 'Rock the Mic' videos on our website. It's weird watching the videos because these people could conceivably take my job one day. Still, it's pretty damn entertaining. If you don't mind pissing away 30 minutes of your day check it out.

Big Poker Show Tonight...

We have a really good show tonight. 2 of the World Series of Poker Main Event Final Table participants will come on for about 10 minutes. We will interview Eric Buchman and Steven Begleiter. I'm amazed at how experienced most of the players at this final table are. Steven is one of the rare exceptions but he's 3rd in chips and definitely has a chance. We got the chance to interview Kevin Schaffel last week so that means after tonight we will have interviewed 3 of the final 9. We want to get at least 5. Our show, The Main Event, airs tonight from 7-9pm CST on 97.5 fm in Houston. You can also stream the show at 975theticket.com. Feel free to leave questions in the comments.

More good stuff...

* I think one of the dumbest things about baseball is that the managers wear uniforms in the dugout. Of all the major sports baseball is the one in which managing matters the least and yet these d-bags get all dressed up in full gear as if they are going to pinch-run at some point. Still, you gotta hand it to Braves' manager Bobby Cox. If you are going to look like a fool at least go all the way (#4)!

* Speaking of baseball how about them Washington Nationals! About a week ago I looked at the standings and they were 32 and 72. In other words if they won their final 58 games they would be 90 and 72 - in one guy's estimation not enough to make the playoffs. But, after a nice little run the Nats have won 8 in a row. Just 50 more in a row and Jimmy Rollins and the Phillies will be sweating a little bit.

* I'm getting pumped for fantasy football season. I'm not sure if I'm more excited about the draft or coming up with different team names. In one league, inappropriately named Big Dick Circus, I've decided to name my team The Jonah Falcons. I will be taking ideas for my other upcoming team names.

Worst Video Ever

People rarely ask me what the worst video of all-time is. But when they do I usually think it's a weird question. With that being said, I'd like to come up with a great answer. After years of soul-searching I think I've decided on the worst video of all-time. You really have to watch the entire video to see how horrible it really is. Worst...Video...Ever

* Some more useless information about 'Cars':
- It was released in the UK just one month before I was born.
- The singer, Gary Numan, married a member of his fan club
- Numan thinks he has a mild form of Asperger's Syndrome - he may just be an ass

* I heard another ITT Technical Institute commercial the other day while riding in the car. Not this one. I always assumed that ITT stood for Institute of Technology but I never really figured out the 2nd 'T'. I also got really confused about why they needed to tack on 'Technical Institute' to the end. It reminded me of when people say they need to go to the ATM machine. So, I brought this up to my wife and she immediately tracked down the answer for me.....

ITT stands for International Telephone and Telegraph. That means the school is called the International Telephone and Telegraph Technical Institute. Or ITTTI.

* I headed to Minute Maid Park today to catch the Stros/Brewers game. I called in ESPN's Sportscenter Sunday show twice with updates from the game. I thought it was pretty cool to give updates on national radio to over 400 affiliates. The Astros even won the game - a rare feat these days.

* The wife and I are cooking dinner tonight for some guests. Okay, the wife is cooking dinner and I'm trying to stay out of the way. I got my hands in some raw chicken and I think I washed them. I'm now typing on my computer so I really, really hope I washed them. Can computers get salmonella?

A Bold Prediction...and more

Don't you think 'A Bold Prediction' sounds like one of those crappy Sci-Fi Channel shows where they go back in time and see if old predictions come true? When I own my own station I'm going to pitch this show and then give a passionate speech about why we need it. I'll then put it up to a vote and fire anyone that raises their hand. Anyways, on to the bold prediction......

Miley Cyrus will end up in a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center. It may not be this year, it may not even be next year but I guarantee that at some point in her life she will end up in one. Sure, I'm not exactly going out on a limb here but I never said I was Nostradamus. Miley's creepy, gravy-training father should be ashamed of himself.

More....

* I'm just discovering that I'm not a big fan of snow cones. Or...is it sno cones? This website has it spelled both ways?! That's not the point. The point is that I just don't like them. You just get a bunch of ice, crush it up, scoop it in a cup, and then pour a shitload of syrup on it. People are supposed to pay $2.75 for that? BTW, my wife absolutely LOVES sno(w) cones. She made me take her to this place Mam's in Houston and says it's the best.

* Also, I find it strange that the spell-check caught 'sno cones' but let 'shitload' slide. I feel like I don't even know you spell-check.

* Yes, I used to be totally obsessed with Saved By The Bell. So did you. Maybe you didn't watch those crappy spinoffs but whatever. I'm super pumped for this alleged reunion. First off, let me say that it...would...be...awesome! Tiffani may be super-busy but I'm fairly certain we can work this out. Apparently everyone is pissed off at Dustin Diamond. We definitely need Screetch in the club though. Can't we all just get along?

Bracket of Hate

Ever since I can remember I have loved brackets. As far as I was concerned, everything in life should be bracketed off. I was obsessed with tennis because there were so many different brackets or 'draws' that you could use. There was single elimination, double elimination, and compass draws. You could seed players, give players byes, and introduce play-in games. Tennis was great but brackets were even better. In fact, my only coffee table book is focused solely on brackets.

I was the guy to go to for brackets. I passed out the brackets for March Madness, I came up with the draw for our ping pong tournaments, and I even took 3 months drawing a 'Super-Bracket' with 1024 places. In my super-bracket I filled each slot with a friend, relative, actor, athlete, superhero, movie character, or historical figure. Once all the 1024 slots were filled I flipped a coin and if it was heads the person on top would advance, if it was tails the person on bottom would advance. It took Rosie O'Donnell 10 coin flips to eventually win my super-bracket. I would have preferred a different winner but the coin doesn't lie. No, there was no purpose for my super-bracket.

I reason I tell you about my obsession for brackets is because I am coming up with a bracket of hate right now. Basically, the draw has 32 spots for 32 people in my past that I hate. I am not the sole voter - a bunch of my college friends are involved in the voting process but I am responsible for coming up with the bracket. Do I feel like an immature punk? YES. Will I discontinue the bracket making process? NO. There are consequences for being a douchebag. Deal with it.

* My little brother Drew is moving to Nashville, TN in less than a month. He's gonna help open up a new Chuy's restaurant out there. This will be the first time anyone in my family has lived outside of Texas for an extended period of time. It will be kind of weird not having my bro around but when you want to spread the word about great Tex-Mex food there are sacrifices that have to be made. I am currently working on a going away party. Kind of like a California gangster-style - you know what I mean? Kick ass party.

* There are some big changes on the horizon for the radio show. I can't elaborate but it's going to be great news for the station and myself. I'll add more details in the coming weeks.

* Lisa Lampenelli is about to come in studio and record an interview with Carl Dukes. This chick is absolutely nuts! She'll be at the Verizon Wireless Theater tonight.

* Update: Lampenelli dropped a 'colored' bomb in the first 30 seconds of the interview. I don't envy Carl's producer Julie. She is gonna have to spend about an hour cutting up this interview.

...until next time