Wednesday, June 24, 2009


It's that time of the year. My thoughts are consumed by fantasy baseball. I sit up all day dreaming of trades. Most of the time I've sent out the max trade offers allowed by Yahoo. Nearly every day I spend about 2 hours looking at stats, scouring the waiver wire, and add/dropping the 30th player on my roster. I am in the top 2 in transactions in all 4 leagues I'm playing in. As of right now I am in 3rd, 2nd, 1st, and 1st in the standing - still I'm not satisfied. When I stare off into space I'm thinking about how to get more steals. In my mind it's fantasy baseball all the time.

But this isn't a fantasy baseball blog. No, this blog is about obsession. Check the title. Sure, right now I'm add/dropping Jack Cust but next month it may be something else. Some people may ask if you can be obsessed with more than one thing at a time. No, no you can't. Some of your likes can later turn into obsessions but what is it that keeps you awake at night? That, my friend, is your true obsession.

When I examine my past I come up with a long list of obsessions. I've been obsessed with baseball cards, tennis, handball, poker, brickbreaker, hsx, video games, monopoly, free cell, streak for the cash, and disc golf just to name a few. That literally took me about 10 seconds. I can become obsessed rather easily.

So, what will be my next obsession? What should be my next obsession? Could it be fantasy football? Sure, it's just around the corner and I've definitely been obsessed with that in the past. Could it be twitter? I like it but I doubt it could consume my thoughts. Could it be this blog? Anything is possible - I was obsessed with my blog once upon a time. All I know is that one day I'm going to wake up and not check my fantasy baseball teams. I'll hold conversations without daydreaming about steals. I'll go to sleep and not see fastballs in my dreams. It'll happen - I just don't know when.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I'm contemplating putting in $100 on a sports betting site. I play poker to win money but I bet sports to have fun. I realize that it's gambling but I somehow always get swept away and begin to believe I'm a professional sports bettor. This is usually how things go when I start to bet on sports:

1/1/xx: Original deposit - $100

1/2/xx: Make $5 wager on a bowl game...and WIN (20-3)! Now at $104 + change

Rest of January: Mostly $5 and $10 bets with some modest success - now at $130

Early February: Bet on silly Super Bowl prop bets and make $2.20. Vow never to take crazy chances again - now at $132.20

2/9/xx: Lose $20 at blackjack before I figure out the perfect system!... - now at $110

2/10/xx: Decide to bet $1 on blackjack. If I win - I quit - if I lose double up until I win! Win first hand - now at $111

2/11/xx: Do same thing. Win first hand. Decide to do this 5 times. Have one close call but win my $32 hand - account at $116
End of February: Despite many close calls I run my account up to $400

3/15/xx: Bet $25 on all #12 seeds in March Madness and win 2 of the games - combine this with a nice run at blackjack and I'm at $675

4/8/xx: Bet $100 on Nashville Predators and overtime - what bullshit - fucking hockey is a joke - account $584.30

4/9/xx: Slightly peeved about pissing away $100 the night before I bet $50 on a hand of blackjack. Before long I'm down to around $300. I bet it all on one hand and get blackjack! Play a couple more small hands and get up to $800. Lose a couple of hands for $20 when the computer/dealer hits 16 gets a 5 for 21 and beats my 20. I reluctantly shut off computer and bemoan my bad luck. Account - $740.12

4/25/xx: Decide to get back on the horse and find an amazing game called Caribbean Stud! This is the easiest game ever invented and I can't believe no one has figured this out. I can win with 7-high if the dealer doesn't qualify!!!!! Account - $905.84

5/2/xx: Starting to lose a little on Caribbean stud. I once lost 7 hands in a row but I just tripled my bets and got most of it back. I find a Caribbean stud strategy sheet online! I can't believe how smart I am! How dumb is everyone who plays without a strategy sheet? Morons! - account - $804.24



7:30 pm - I lose a first half over/under on a WNBA preseason game that was supposed to be a fucking lock - minus $100

8:00pm - It's Caribbean Stud time! I start betting $100 a hand and run it up to $1213 after hitting a straight! Time to quit for the night.

8:02pm - Screw it - I decide to play just one more hand and I lose $100. This really pisses me off.

8:03pm - To get my money back I start betting $200 a hand. I lose 2 in a row.

8:04:48pm - Now I'm desperate - I bet my last $700 on blackjack. I have 19 and the dealer is showing a 4!!!! GODDAMN COMPUTER DRAWS TO A 21. WTF???!!! This shit is rigged. My account is empty. I turn off the computer. I can't pull myself away though as I stare at the blank screen. Why couldn't I have taken out $1500? What a moron. That is it for me - seriously - no more betting.

8/29/xx - Deposit $100 - Start of college football season!!!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Farenheit 51

I don't have an office at work. I sit in a radio studio all day. When I'm not on the air I write sports updates. Basically, I spend at least 6 consecutive hours of my day in the studio.

I tell you this because it's so freaking cold in the studio that I can barely think. In fact, everyone that enters the studio comments on the cold. Ironically we have a thermostat in the studio! Unfortunately, the thermostat is always turned up to the top (90 degrees - yeah right) and it doesn't seem to work.

Really, the only thing anyone talks about in the studio is the cold. Maybe there is some small chit-chat about life but then back to the temperature. Our daily conversations usually include many if not all of the following 10 questions:

1) Is this a legal work environment?

2) If so, can we sue?

3) Who can we contact to fix the A/C?

4) How hard is it to fix the f*#@ing A/C? (We've been bitching about this for almost a year)

5) What reason is there for keeping the studio this cold (Sometimes we hear it's because of the equipment - I say that's bullshit)

6) What do you think the actual temperature is? (The guesses range from 30 to 60)

7) Did you press the button? (See #8)

8) What does the button do? (There is a button on the thermostat that 'allegedly' doesn't do anything - the urban legend is that by pressing it repeatedly you can make the studio warmer)

9) Can we open the door? (We assume that the warm air from outside will come in)

10) Can we close the door? (Anything to change our luck)

I'm tired of wearing a jacket to work in June. Other people stare at me. I welcome all suggestions on how to warm up the studio. It gets so cold that I will often go to the restroom where it's 75 degrees but smells like stale urine. Please help me.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

The Hangover = Old School 2

This has been an interesting week. For the first time in a long time I've been given a week off of work. This used to be my life. I would just play online poker all day or head to Louisiana or Vegas or AC and play some live poker. Now I don't know what to do with myself. Today I woke up at 9:50. That's the latest I've woken up in 6 months. I used to average getting up at 1 pm.

On Monday I decided to drag my ass out of bed and check out 'The Hangover'. I'd heard mostly good things and after it's mildly surprising box office domination I knew I had to see it for myself.

Minor spoiler alerts ahead

Plot: A regular old dude heads to Vegas with his 2 best friends and his soon-to-be wife's brother for a bachelor party. Things just get a little crazy.

Sounds simple enough. I don't want to ruin too much of the movie but basically it plays out like a watered-down version of Old School. This is not entirely a bad thing. Old School was the best comedy of 2003 and you could make a case that it's the best comedy of the decade. Sure that's a large statement but when you come home drunk from another night getting shot down at the bar what movie do you pop in? I usually go with Superbad, Grandma's Boy, Wedding Crashers, Old School, Made, Supertroopers, or Old School. There are other films that are solid such as 40-year Old Virgin, Harold & Kumar, Van Wilder, and, of course, Zoolander but I would say that Old School is at least in the discussion for most rewatchable comedy of the decade. But I digress...

The Hangover is so obviously written for the original characters of Old School that, for me at least, it was distracting. The acting was good and the movie was very funny but I couldn't help but wonder how much better it would be with Vaughn, Ferrell, and Wilson.

Now time for the major spoiler alerts.

Bradley Cooper/Phil: This was obviously Vince Vaughn's character Beanie from Old School. Phil is a complete dick who is always pushing the envelope and getting the group into precarious situations. Bradley Cooper plays Phil as more of a ladies man but much like Beanie in Old School, both characters are married with kids and, despite ample opportunities both characters don't cheat on their wives.

Ed Helms/Stu: The parallels are obvious here as well. Stu was molded after Will Ferrell's character Frank from Old School. Stu is stuck in a relationship that isn't right for him. He's a mild mannered guy around his wife and even his friends. But once Stu gets some drinks in him he does a complete 180. Stu loses a tooth, Frank goes streaking.

Justin Bartha/Doug: This is Luke Wilson's character Mitch from Old School. The boring/nice guy of the group. Bartha adds nothing to this character and is the weak point of the movie for me. Fortunately, he's not in the film very much. Doug is about to get married and live the suburban life with his new family which is freaking loaded. Much like Mitch, Doug still has some friends from earlier in his life that he's obviously outgrown. But, for some reason both Doug and Mitch stay loyal and let their friends attempt to ruin their lives.

The best parts of the movie were courtesy of the character Alan played by Zach Galifianakis. Alan is probably mentally disabled and also a little bit crazy. This would have been the perfect addition to the Old School crew and he works perfectly in this movie. I could see Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, or Jack Black playing this part with the original Old School crew. That isn't to say Galifianakis isn't great - he is - part of me just wishes this movie was called Old School 2 with the original cast back.

Overall I give the movie a B+