Ship It!

I'm contemplating putting in $100 on a sports betting site. I play poker to win money but I bet sports to have fun. I realize that it's gambling but I somehow always get swept away and begin to believe I'm a professional sports bettor. This is usually how things go when I start to bet on sports:

1/1/xx: Original deposit - $100

1/2/xx: Make $5 wager on a bowl game...and WIN (20-3)! Now at $104 + change

Rest of January: Mostly $5 and $10 bets with some modest success - now at $130

Early February: Bet on silly Super Bowl prop bets and make $2.20. Vow never to take crazy chances again - now at $132.20

2/9/xx: Lose $20 at blackjack before I figure out the perfect system!... - now at $110

2/10/xx: Decide to bet $1 on blackjack. If I win - I quit - if I lose double up until I win! Win first hand - now at $111

2/11/xx: Do same thing. Win first hand. Decide to do this 5 times. Have one close call but win my $32 hand - account at $116
End of February: Despite many close calls I run my account up to $400

3/15/xx: Bet $25 on all #12 seeds in March Madness and win 2 of the games - combine this with a nice run at blackjack and I'm at $675

4/8/xx: Bet $100 on Nashville Predators and lose...in overtime - what bullshit - fucking hockey is a joke - account $584.30

4/9/xx: Slightly peeved about pissing away $100 the night before I bet $50 on a hand of blackjack. Before long I'm down to around $300. I bet it all on one hand and get blackjack! Play a couple more small hands and get up to $800. Lose a couple of hands for $20 when the computer/dealer hits 16 gets a 5 for 21 and beats my 20. I reluctantly shut off computer and bemoan my bad luck. Account - $740.12

4/25/xx: Decide to get back on the horse and find an amazing game called Caribbean Stud! This is the easiest game ever invented and I can't believe no one has figured this out. I can win with 7-high if the dealer doesn't qualify!!!!! Account - $905.84

5/2/xx: Starting to lose a little on Caribbean stud. I once lost 7 hands in a row but I just tripled my bets and got most of it back. I find a Caribbean stud strategy sheet online! I can't believe how smart I am! How dumb is everyone who plays without a strategy sheet? Morons! - account - $804.24

DAY OF RECKONING:

5/15/xx:

7:30 pm - I lose a first half over/under on a WNBA preseason game that was supposed to be a fucking lock - minus $100

8:00pm - It's Caribbean Stud time! I start betting $100 a hand and run it up to $1213 after hitting a straight! Time to quit for the night.

8:02pm - Screw it - I decide to play just one more hand and I lose $100. This really pisses me off.

8:03pm - To get my money back I start betting $200 a hand. I lose 2 in a row.

8:04:48pm - Now I'm desperate - I bet my last $700 on blackjack. I have 19 and the dealer is showing a 4!!!! GODDAMN COMPUTER DRAWS TO A 21. WTF???!!! This shit is rigged. My account is empty. I turn off the computer. I can't pull myself away though as I stare at the blank screen. Why couldn't I have taken out $1500? What a moron. That is it for me - seriously - no more betting.




8/29/xx - Deposit $100 - Start of college football season!!!